"I get knocked down, but I get up again.."

DISCLAIMER: This post is full of positivity. Negative Nancy's, read with caution. 

Lately I've found myself continuously repeating Chumbawamba's famous lyrics, "I get knocked down, but I get up again. You're never going to keep me down". These lyrics have been keeping me strong through some, not so bright, days. Recently, I had an opportunity to meet one of my BIGGEST idols, whom I have looked up to and admired for several years. I have related to her as a fellow adult on the Autism spectrum and have truly looked up to her drive and determination to make a difference in this world. Preparing for my encounter, I wrote up several questions and even purchased a book to have her sign. I couldn't wait to share my own story with her and hopefully learn from each other. The excitement that filled me was evident and I shook in anticipation as I entered the building where my idol was waiting. As I walked up and introduced myself, my world was turned upside down. I was immediately cut off, talked down to, ignored, humiliated, and left holding onto crushed dreams. In this moment, I was left speechless and frozen. I couldn't help but  think of Hazel from The Fault In Our Stars when she traveled across the country only to be completely disgusted in her own idol and favorite author. Oh, Hazel I feel your pain girl. 
The truth is, I never got the chance to tell this idol of mine who I really was. I had so many things to share with her, so many accomplishments and dreams I was eager to discuss. Minutes, hours, and even days after this event I have taken the time to really think about this experience. I have pondered and thought about things from every which way and direction imaginable. I've lost hope in my future and found it again countless times. Finally, more than two weeks later, I have settled all these negative feelings that have taken control of me and am (finally) at ease. 
When it comes down to it, a huge part of life is based on perspective. Are you a glass half full or half empty kind of lad? Go and Google search quotes about positive thinking and you get almost 5 million hits! The past few weeks have certainly been a huge test for me but have also reminded me to always look on the brighter side, find that silver lining and believe in yourself. There are always going to be people in your life that will bring you down, sometimes even the people you admire most. But, at the end of the day you can either let them make you or break you and quite honestly, I'll be damned if I ever let the opinion of one person ever break me. The truth is, I am proud of my accomplishments. I have overcome battles that no doctor ever thought was possible. I have jumped over hurdles and broken down walls, and I'm not even close to being finished. My journey is full of up's and down's. I have a lot more to learn and a long way's to go but, I am proud of me. And, you should be proud of you! Life is crazy and people will bring you down but theres no excuse for not getting back up!

Stay positive,
Xo, Ashley

" No one can make you feel inferior without your consent" - Eleanor Rosevelt